Dr. Gary Brainerd, a clinical psychologist in Pasadena and Encino, California, is using technology in some unusual ways to help couples.
Anxiety and stress, says Dr Brainerd, tend to make couples more sensitive and more reactive and consequently less tolerant and less patient with each other.

PASADENA, CA, January 14, 2009 /24-7PressRelease/ -- In a time when financial anxiety not only puts stress on love relationships, but also makes traditional help unaffordable, technology may be a solution for many couples" so says Dr. Gary Brainerd, a clinical psychologist in Pasadena and Encino, California, who is using technology in some unusual ways to help couples.

Anxiety and stress, says Dr Brainerd, tend to make couples more sensitive and more reactive and consequently less tolerant and less patient with each other. Consequently old hurts and issues emerge, making communication more difficult, things feel overwhelming and the need for professional help becomes essential --just at a time when money is tight. What can couples like this do?

Dr. Brainerd is a clinical psychologist specializing in relationship therapy for over thirty years, providing therapy and workshops for couples. He believes that a combination of different technologies can provide quality help very inexpensively. So he has combined an online workstation for couples with a private BlogTalkRadio program.

A few years ago he developed the Couple's Workstation, and online membership area where couples can not only find valuable information, but can also fill out carefully designed forms to help them analyze and think through their relationship frustrations and design a doable action plan and then share their insights with using a Sharing Guide to make the sharing safe, positive and effective. Couples who do this can virtually eliminate angry fights and arguments and actually transform frustrations into moments of understanding and even healing.

"Couples need to understand the 90/10 principle," Dr. Brainerd explains. Ninety percent of the upset, the pain, the frustration, and the hurts that emerge in a relationship belong to history - and only ten percent is related directly to the present. What is happening is that old wounds, hurts and sensitivities are being activated in the relationship frustrations. The frustration analysis form helps the person to think through this and separate the present issue from the past and then create an action plan to address the present and past issues separately.

In the Workstation couples can also discover their partner's "love language", the words, touches and behaviors that bring pleasure and help their spouse/partner to feel loved and cared about. Couples are also urged to mutually create lists of fun, play activities to do together and discover the best things to do during the four most important times of each day.

What is unique about the Workstation is that as couples fill out the various forms, they will receive email reminders about the behaviors that will be sensitive to and even healing of the old hurts and behaviors that will address the present frustration. They will also receive email reminders about the caring behaviors their partner needs and enjoys.

"What we now know about relationships," he continues, "is the irony that in most marriages what one person needs the most, the other cannot give easily without facing some old fears or developing some new skills. That is why we find that gentle, invited email reminders are very helpful."

But Dr. Brainerd found that many couples need more than just the Couple's Workstation. Analyzing one's own frustrations and talking about it is a doable, but daunting task. For many couples something more is needed. Ideally this is a time to see a therapist trained in relationship work. But what if one cannot afford this?

Dr. Brainerd learned something significant while doing workshops for couples for many years, including the nationally known Getting the Love You Want Workshop. During the workshop volunteer couples will demonstrate the various communication processes and other skills used in the workshop. What he discovered was that the couples who observed the demonstrations were helped almost as much as the couple doing the demonstration. They not only learned the skill being modeled, but also reported feeling "not so alone" in finding out other couples were having the same struggles.

This along with seeing how many people watch Dr. Phil led Dr. Brainerd to create a special, private, internet BlogTalkRadio broadcast that anyone, anywhere with a computer with sound can listen to- just for couples who are using the Couple's Workstation. In each program a person will work with Dr. Brainerd in going through the Frustration Analysis process or a couple will practice a communication process or a sharing process. Each week they can listen in on a demonstration couple. In addition, of course, questions can be phoned in or typed in.

So couples can have the Workstation available 24/7 for as little as $10.00 a month and can hear the skills and processes modeled weekly on the private talk radio show for about $40 a month. Couples can also volunteer to be a talk radio demonstration couple and get an essentially free therapy session. Confidentiality is maintained by either using just first names or making every man John and every woman Mary.

Dr. Gary Brainerd's Couple's Workstation and the BlogTalkRadio broadcast accesses the latest technology and now makes low cost help available to meet the needs of those people who may be struggling with real life issues. They may not have the interest or inclination to involve themselves in long term, on-going therapy for a variety of reasons, but they may like a more convenient affordable vehicle to address some of their relationship issues that stand in the way of reaching what they know is their real potential for a successful relationship. Brainerd states "we can now offer our therapy approach to virtually anyone and at an affordable price.

As low as the cost is, couples can try before they buy. A free month membership in the Couple's Workstation is available at www.relationship-help.com and Dr Brainerd will send members a free sample of his BlogTalkRadio program. As Dr. Brainerd states, "technology now offers stressed relationships inexpensive help when it's needed most".

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